The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and closeness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable, lots of gay men desire to find out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it click now can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements best site -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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