The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, nearness, and love .

However when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by believing, see this website "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that many of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urbane areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, values, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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